Your Letters

yourletters

GOOD ENOUGH

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your thoughts on “The Enough House,” (Dec. 2009). I have made similar bargains about my daughter's health and development. “If only she could... then I will be grateful, satisfied and happy.” Yet she has done so much more, and I still don't feel satisfied and happy every day. Thanks for reminding me about the most essential moments of life.

Elliette Portal-Stanley, online

I wanted to congratulate you on your very profound editorial letter. Accepting our kids for what they offer us and the world takes time. Some families get there and some families continue to search and truly miss out on their children’s gifts. As my son Dave turned 35 this year, I reflected on all the things he has done, especially when the docs said “forget about him, put him in the institution” when he was a baby. Dave has done remarkable things in his life.

Alison Ouellette, Windsor, Ont. (editor’s note: The DVD My Life, My Choice features Alison’s son Dave and is available through Inclusion Press).

(I) found your words so important for all parents to remember. I would like to have “The Enough House” story framed and put up in our clinic area for everyone to see. I work in pediatrics and try my best to support parents with the news and path of parenting a child with special needs.

Grace Koehler, Social Worker, Glenrose Rehabilitation Hospital, Edmonton

The article you wrote, “The Enough House,” moved me to tears as it brought up so many memories and was so well written! I feel like it is the biggest lesson I have learned coming from 18 years of parenting two kids with “issues.” What a fabulous article!

Raquel Rozenberg, San Diego

I love your story, “The Enough House.” It took Claudia and myself as well such a long time to get to that point. I read the whole magazine and I have to tell you, it’s absolutely beautiful.

Brett Langill, Mississauga, Ont.

SELF INJURY

My experience over 38 years supports what Felicia Jervis has to say (“When children hurt themselves,” June 2008) in the work I have done with both children and adults with disabilities. “There is a lot of good research to show that children will continue to self-injure when something positive follows the behaviour," writes Dr. LaRose in her Talk back column “A different approach”(Dec. 2009).”

There may be research showing this, but I would need to look at it and see what the context was, know what understanding existed about the “reasons” for the behaviour. Children with disabilities often experience profound rejection early in life, become deeply wounded by how others see and thus treat them, often in negative role stereotypes. The “reasons” are therefore not always obvious or knowable unless one sees the larger issue of societal devaluation.

David Yeiter, Director of Quality Enhancement and Training,

Monadnock Developmental Services, Keene, New Hampshire

Re “When children hurt themselves,” June 2008. I guarantee that when we as adults are feeling “out of control” (and we all do) that a warm cup of tea, a sweet, a hug from a caring individual does not teach us that feeling out of control is the way to be, but that it is okay to feel this way. Greater problems arise when we as human beings choose not to validate an individual’s needs, wants and desires.

Caroline Carrington, online

GENERAL PRAISE

What a fantastic resource! Would love to subscribe! I’m a mom of a 5-year-old autistic boy and finding good resources like this is a goldmine! Keep up the good work!

Jennifer Cluff, London, Ont.

I checked out the magazine and your blog online and they are both fabulous – a great resource for parents.

Amy Baskin, Guelph, Ont. Author of More than a Mom and the special-needs parenting blog at Today’s Parent

Keep up the HARD work. Families like us appreciate it.

Allison Mylymok, Sechelt, BC

I always find the articles really engaging and easy for families to read.

Margaret Spoelstra, Executive Director, Autism Ontario