Last year I learned that my daughter Chloe* had been touched inappropriately by a classmate.

Chloe, 17, has cerebral palsy, is dependent for all of her physical needs on others, and communicates with a voice output device and her eyes. She’s in a life-skills program with a teacher and four educational assistants.

When I asked Chloe what happened, she confirmed that a female student had been placing her hands between her legs — and even putting them inside her pants and up her shirt — on a daily basis for months.

Chloe said she didn’t tell us because she thought it was funny — not exploitative — and she didn’t want to get the girl in trouble.
If another student hadn’t spoken up, I would never have known!

When I went to discuss the issue with the teacher and principal, I was shocked to see a police officer waiting. He explained that the student’s actions were considered sexual assault.

I told him we didn’t think the touching was sexual in nature. The student had a cognitive disability and it seemed to be a compulsive behaviour. But the principal said the school needed to follow the protocol they would use if this occurred in a regular class and the student was suspended.

This seemed an extreme measure. But it did result in an extra educational assistant being placed in the class to monitor the girl when she returned.

This incident prompted me to talk with Chloe about appropriate and inappropriate touching.

You may assume this is a non-issue if your child is in a contained class with numerous staff. Don’t make the same mistake I did!

In our situation, the student touched Chloe at times when less people were around, such as lunch, or when the person feeding her had turned her back or gone to wash out her cup. As I talked to Chloe, I was shocked to learn that this behaviour had begun in elementary school.

All children need to be taught that no one can touch their sexual parts without their permission. With Chloe, we made it clear that the only people who could touch her private parts were personal care workers. We let her know that if she wanted to be involved in a sexual relationship, that was a different matter and her decision. But the bottom line was that no one can touch her private parts without her consent.

Make sure your children understand that if someone touches them inappropriately, they must tell an adult they trust.

If your child discloses an incident, stress that it wasn’t his or her fault.

Protect your children at an early age by having frank, ongoing discussions.